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Author: Porter & John
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Because let’s face it – if Porter doesn’t like this one, then what are we all doing here? If you can’t get behind a multiple Oscar-nominee facing living statues that force people to live their lives to death and can only be defeated with the help of a DVD Easter Egg, then this show is probably not for you. So gather around your Podcast-playing medium with bated breath as our intrepid team stares down the debut of the Weeping Angels and dare each other not to Blink.
If time traveling living statues are your “thing,” then boy are you in for a treat as NNTMP rockets back to 1988 and the 25th anniversary of Who. Flush with the tremendous achievement of reaching 25 years, the BBC pulls out all the stops (and here, apparently, “stops” means “money“) and delivers a whole lotta plot that vaguely suggests a momentous anniversary because some things are silver. Will Porter and John be able to keep track of Gallifreyan super weapons, Cybermen, Nazis, crazy 17th Century women, crazy Tony Award winning women, the Cartmel Masterplan, and the latest Theme Section theme? Find out as they confront the tightly plotted (erm…) Silver Nemesis.
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You know how when you sometimes want to change species? Like we all do. Well, Doctor Who takes a hard line on that one and says definitively… maybe not? The scarecrows are a’marchin’, the schoolkids are a’shootin’, and everyone is a’stickin’ it to World War I as the Doctor becomes human and Martha once again gets screwed over. Will Porter be overcome with emotion at this beautiful testament to the beauty of a lifetime of true love? Will John smugly work into the discussion that he already knows what happens because anyone who’s a real fan read this story when it was a New Adventure back in 1995? You’ll find out as our Podcasters breakdown the fundamentals of Human Nature and flee from the Family of Blood.
Right, so who wants to become human when you can become a Time Lord?! Note, however, that becoming a Time Lord may (may, mind you) cause your brain to start poking out of your skull. But who has time to contemplate consequences when this classic 5th Doctor story is firing plot points at you like little kids machine-gunning a scarecrow – Nyssa and Tegan, Turlough‘s first story, Brigadier 1983, Brigadier 1977, the subsequent UNIT dating CHAOS, the Black Guardian, and just generally the wild excitement that is the 20th anniversary season. But such is the firehose of plot when you open the spigot that is the catchily entitled… Mawdryn Undead.
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Sometimes in life – as in podcasting – you gotta just keep doing a whole series of things in sequence and you reach your goal. It’s these sorts of life hacks that bring fans back to NNTMP week after week, and – by the transitive property of podcasting – to Doctor Who! Yes, the relationship between Martha and the Doctor really heats up this week, although sadly not in the romantic-y way that Martha is hoping for but more in a ship-into-a-sun plunge-y way as they find themselves trapped on the seemingly doomed SS Pentallian. There’s space mining, power reroutin’, bar trivia, and Martha trapped in vehicles with auxiliary characters as Porter and John discuss Doctor Who’s own take on 24 only 18 better at 42.
We then rocket back to 1964 and Doctor Who’s first season for another quest that moves at a… slightly slower pace. We join the First Doctor, Barbara, Ian, and Susan as they are good-naturedly extorted to embark on a quest through the jungle-y/icy/brains-in-jar-y planet of Marinus. Porter and John join them on their series of light-hearted jolly japes (with only the occasional attempted rape and/or spousal abuse) as they attempt to recover the scattered Keys of Marinus, which do… something important (according to a guy who was in Citizen Kane, so we believe him).
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“Madness… madness…” says Major Clipton at the conclusion of The Bridge on the River Kwai – was he talking about the antics of Colonel Nicholson or this Podcast? We may never know, but what we do know is that this puppy is chock full of nutty professors, starting with NNTMP favorite, Mark Gatiss (still gay). Gatiss makes his first television appearance in Who as the star attraction at a surprisingly low-key event announcing the discovery of revolutionary de-aging technology that will allow humanity to live forever. Join Porter and John as they peer review the results of The Lazarus Experiment.
We then rocket back to the classic series and to the edge of the universe with the 4th Doctor and Sarah Jane Smith as they explore the mysterious, Planet of Evil. Porter and John will explore the science of anti-matter, the origins of the mad scientist trope, the wonders of Roger Murray-Leach’s jungle set design, and the irresistible dramatic pull of space mining in a free-wheeling discussion that – of course – covers many other television shows as well.
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You know what aliens who have conquered space and time travel and at one point ruled vast swathes of the Universe probably would not say upon discovering humanity, which is struggling to hold back an anti-vaccine movement in the middle of a global pandemic? “Hey! We should be more like them!” But, we’ll roll with it as the Cult of Skaro finds itself in 1930s Manhattan and immediately gets into the world of New York real estate (which, let’s be honest, could use some good exterminators – ZING!) and Frankensteining some humans/pigmen. Will John swoon over the handsome Ryan Carnes and Andrew Garfield? Will Porter swoon over a mutant face octupus in a pinstriped suit? Find out as we join Daleks in Manhattan and witness the Evolution of the Daleks.
Of course, it’s not clear why these Daleks are still wandering around gettin’ all human when we find out that the Second Doctor engineered their “final end” way back in 1967! In addition to forgetting that they already had been wiped out, those Manhattan Daleks must have also forgotten that they had already been mucking about with the human factor too. But, as the old saying goes, NNTMP never forgets, and so Porter and John enter the murky world of off-air audio recordings supplemented with blurry black-and-white photos as they try to get to the root of The Evil of the Daleks. Oh, and they also decide whether humanity in general is good or evil. In the last 10 minutes.
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Oh no! NNTMP has got Crabs! And, as if things couldn’t get any more dystopian, we’ve also got traffic! And… AND… cats driving. AND… AND… AND cats driving while wearing HATS! So, yeah, there are, apparently, dark days ahead for humanity, but fear not Probers, because John and Porter have slapped on their “Dogged Persistence” patches and stared unflinchingly into the Face of Boe as they grapple with some bumper-to-bumper Gridlock.
We then follow on to a 2nd Doctor, Ben, Polly, and Jamie classic via the fairly obvious link, which of course is… the dystopian future. NO! It’s not Macra. THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS MACRA (story title excepted – there are such things as terrors related to said non-existent Macra)! If this discussion between John and Porter seems a bit more animated to you, then in all probability it’s because they are taking on some missing episodes now returned to us through the exciting innovation of cartoons matched to the original soundtracks. So join them for a heapin’ helpin’ of Surf ‘n’ Mind Control Gas as they confront The Something-Something Terror!