Then journey back – waaaay back – to a simpler time when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and and companions just blew up like decent folk instead of being all diva about it. But don’t worry, the Cybermen still prove utterly ineffectual. Will Porter and John follow the ins-and-outs of the Cybermen’s convoluted scheme to create an Earthshock? Will anyone even explain what an Earthshock is or will they just all Earthcalm down and Earthrelax?
Who Done Done It? - "The Unicorn and the Wasp" & "Black Orchid"
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Yes… solve the greatest mystery ever… how is it possible Porter and John are actually married to other sentient beings?! Well we ARE. And we’re so confident in our marriages that we’ll allow them in front of a microphone where they could easily cry out for help. But they DON’T. In the final edit.
We then slow the pace down – WAAAY down – as we stay in the 20s time period (in fictional terms) and time travel back (in production terms) to the 5th Doctor era (did everyone follow that?). Yes, the Doctor, Tegan, Nyssa, Adric, Paul, John, and Ringo suffer the horrible consequences of mistaken identity: attending a costume party! But not before there is some cricket. A LOT of cricket. So much cricket that it’s not really until Part 2 that we are presented with the Victorian Gothic thrills and chills of a secret-passage riddled house concealing dark family secrets. But it’s a good thing they got to it in Part 2 because there is no Part 3 or 4 and we wrap things up tidily(ish) without falling afoul of the curse of the Black Orchid.
Stand Clear of the Closing Doctor - "Planet of the Dead" & "Time-Flight"
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It’s Easter and we’re on a London bus with a rich lady cat burglar and Lee Evans. Tell me if you’ve heard this one before? Well, you have if you’ve watched the next in our series of 10th Doctor specials forming David Tennant’s lap of honor. The bus has, as is typical of mass transit, been delayed due to a wormhole that leaves it in a desert that looks a lot like Dubai but is in fact an alien planet! Now it’s a race against time for the Doctor, Lady Christina, an Oscar winner, a wise and slightly psychic black woman, and some fly people as they work with UNIT and the great Malcolm to get back to Earth before a bunch giant flying manta rays can escape… the Planet of the Dead!
It’s then back to the 5th Doctor era, which then takes us back even further to prehistoric Earth in a classic Who episode that takes on the tough issues of the day and drives home the important message: “Hey! We got a Concorde!” After taking the requisite 30 seconds to mourn the death of Adric, the Doctor, Tegan, and Nyssa head to Heathrow where they get involved in the hunt for a missing Concorde. Will Porter and John resolve the mystery of the inexplicably (and slightly racist-ly) disguised Master? Will they become embroiled in the intriguing mystery of the Xerpahin – namely, who the Hell are they and what is this story actually supposed to be about? To find out, grab your carry-on and park yourself in the Group 2 line (if you are a frequent Prober), and don’t be late to catch your Time-Flight!
